Awakening s-5 Read online

  Cleanse these things of ill intent.

  Let this spell cause no harm nor return any on me."

  On the last words of the spell the flames crackled, as if in answer to me, then died out completely. A white, nearly transparent smoke rose. The wand in my hand felt weightless. I gently laid it on the ground.

  After a moment I gathered my courage and peered into the cauldron. The blouse was gone entirely, as was the book. There were a few darkened lumps of metal, which I took to be the earrings and the pentagram. The tiger-eyes seemed to be gone. I could still see the shape of the bloodstone, though, covered in a fine ash. I touched the edge of the cauldron. It was already cool, despite the white-hot flames that had blazed there just moments earlier.

  I reached in for the bloodstone. White ash fell from it; it was cool to the touch. I gingerly extended my senses, examining it for any trace of Cal's magick. I couldn't find any.

  My fist tightened around it, and something deep inside me snapped. It was a crackling, heartrending release, as if the ritual had broken not only Cal's magickal bonds on me, but my own bonds on my reined-in pain and anger. I flung the bloodstone away as hard as I could. "You bastard, Cal!" I screamed into the bitter wind. "You bastard!"

  Then I dropped to my knees, sobbing. How could he have done this to me? How could he have taken something as precious as love and corrupted it so horribly? I crouched, praying to the Goddess to heal my heart.

  It was a long time before I straightened up again. When I did, I felt that magick had left the circle. Things were back to normal—whatever normal was.

  I opened the circle, grabbed my tools, and took them back into the house. I returned the tools to their old hiding place in the HVAC vent in the upstairs hallway. I made a mental note to find a new hiding place soon. I reunified the cauldron with salt water before stuffing it in the back of my closet. Then I took a hot shower and finally did what I'd wanted to do since that morning.

  I got Dagda, crawled into bed, and went back to sleep.

  4. Celebration

  August, 1984

  I've made my choice, if you can call it a choice. I'm with Fiona now, back home in England. Our second son will be born in week, and I simply could not stay away any longer. She is my muirn beatha dan, my soul's true mate.

  I think—I hope—that Selene has at last accepted this. When I left this time, she didn't plead. She said only, “Remember the threefold law. All that you do comes back to you.” She turned away, and I watched Cal carefully copy her. I've lost him. He is wholly Selene's now.

  Giomanach is so changed from the last time I saw him. He's nearly two years old now, no longer a baby but a wiry little boy with hair like bleached corn silk and Fiona's dancing green eyes. He's a happy child but still shy and a little fearful around me. I try not to let him see how it hurts me.

  I try, too, not to think too often of Cal, and the battle that I lost.

  — Maghach

  "Morgan." My sister was sitting on the edge of the bed, shaking my shoulder. "Mom asked me to wake you up."

  I opened my eyes and realized it was dark outside. I felt like I'd been asleep for days. "What time is it?" I asked groggily.

  "Five-thirty." Mary K. turned on the light on my night table, and I saw the concern in her warm brown eyes. "Aunt Eileen and Paula are on their way over for dinner. They should be here any minute. Hey, Mom told me about you and Cal. And I saw Das Boot. Are you okay?"

  I drew in a shaky breath, then nodded. Something had shifted during the purification ceremony. Though I still felt deeply wounded, I didn't have quite the same sense of hopelessness I'd had this morning. "I've been better, but I'll live."

  "Cal wasn't in school today," Mary K. said. She hesitated. "There's a rumor going around that he and his mom left town over the weekend. That there was some kind of suspicious fire on their property and now they've disappeared."

  "They did leave, it's true," I said. I sighed. "Look, I can't talk about this right now. I'll tell you the whole story soon. But you have to promise to keep it to yourself."

  "Okay." She looked solemnly at me, then went through the connecting door to her room.

  I pulled on a pair of sweats and a red thermal top and brushed my long hair into a ponytail. Then I went downstairs. In the front hall I heard the doorbell, then a babble of excited voices. "What's going on?" I asked as I went out to greet them. They all sounded cheerful and happy.

  "We made an offer on a house today, and it was accepted!" Aunt Eileen told me. When my aunt Eileen and her girlfriend, Paula Steen, decided to move in together, my mom had made it her personal mission to find them the house of their dreams.

  Moments later we were all gathered around the dining-room table. Mary K. set out silverware and plates, my dad set out wineglasses, and Mom, Aunt Eileen, and Paula opened container after container of takeout food.

  I sniffed the air, not recognizing the smells of either Chinese or Indian food, the two usual choices. "Wow. Smells great. What'd you bring?"

  "We splurged at Fortunato's," Paula told me. Fortunato's was a trendy gourmet place that had opened a couple of years ago in Widow's Vale. Our family didn't shop there much, due to their insane prices.

  "What's your pleasure?" Aunt Eileen asked. "We've got filet mignon with wild mushrooms, herb potatoes, cold salmon, asparagus vinaigrette, spinach salad, clam fritters, and chicken dijonnaise."

  "And save room for chocolate-hazelnut cake," Paula added.

  "Oh my God, I'm never going to be able to move again," Mary K. moaned.

  Paula popped the cork on a champagne bottle and poured it into glasses as we all took our seats. She even gave Mary K. and me about a swallow each, though I noticed my mom raise her eyebrows as Aunt Eileen handed the glasses to us.

  "A toast!" Paula said, and lifted her own glass high. "To our new, absolutely perfect home and the absolutely brilliant real estate agent who found it for us!"

  My mom laughed. "May you always be happy there!"

  We began passing around the food. It felt good to see everyone so cheerful, even Mary K., who had been looking pretty down since she and her boyfriend, Bakker, had broken up. I was glad to be able to focus on someone's good news. I felt myself start to relax, felt my anxiety recede a bit.

  "So tell me all about this perfect house," I said to Eileen.

  "It's in Taunton," Eileen began, naming a town about ten miles north of us. "It's a little house with bay windows, set back from the street, with a beautiful garden out back. Wood-burning stove downstairs and a fireplace in the master bedroom. The only bad part is, it's covered with ugly green vinyl siding."

  "Which is old and needs to be replaced, anyway," Mom stuck in. "Apart from that, it oozes charm."

  "Yeah." Paula grinned. "Just ask the realtor."

  "When do you think you'll move in?" Mary K. asked Aunt Eileen.

  Aunt Eileen had just taken a huge bite of spinach salad, so Mom answered for her. "The closing is scheduled for next week, after the inspection," she said.

  "That's fantastic!" Mary K. said. "You could actually be in by next weekend."

  Aunt Eileen took Paula's hand and with her other hand crossed her fingers. "That's what we're hoping," she said.

  The rest of dinner went by quickly, with talk of moving plans, house plans, and a heated discussion about how many pets they would adopt once they were settled. Paula was a veterinarian, so Aunt Eileen thought they should have a good menagerie, including several cats and dogs and a rabbit or two. By the time we got to dessert, everyone was laughing.

  All at once my smile froze into place as I felt Hunter on our front walk outside. His presence always had a weird effect on me. The doorbell rang a moment later, and I stood quickly. "I'll get it," I said.

  I went to the front hall and opened the door. Hunter stood there in a thick green sweater that perfectly matched his eyes. His hands were shoved into the pockets of a worn brown leather jacket that emphasized his broad shoulders.

  "You weren't in school today
," he stated.

  "Hello to you, too," I said dryly.

  He ducked his head and kicked snow off his boot. "Uh, right. Hello. How are you feeling?"

  "Better, thanks."

  He brought his gaze back up to mine, his eyes glinting in the reflection from the little light over the door. "As I was saying—you weren't in school."

  My forehead crinkled. Had he gone to my school to check up on me? Was Hunter actually concerned about me?

  I must have been staring at him because I noticed the tips of his ears begin to turn pink. Was he blushing? Surely not. Not Hunter. He must really be cold.

  "Morgan, who is it?" my mom called.

  "Um—it's my friend Hunter," I called back. "I'll just be a second."

  "Well, invite him in and shut the door. You're letting in cold air."

  Silently I held the door, and Hunter stepped inside. "We need to talk," he said.

  I knew he was right, but I wasn't ready yet. "It's not a good time."

  "I don't mean about Cal," he said. "I mean about Cirrus." Cirrus was the coven that Cal had started. I was a member, along with Robbie, Jenna Ruiz, Sharon Goodfine, Ethan Sharp, and Matt Adler. Bree had originally been part of Cirrus, too, but when she and I split up over Cal, she and Raven Meltzer had formed Kithic, a coven that was now led by Hunter's cousin Sky.

  "Cirrus?" I repeated, confused. "What about it?"

  "With Cal gone, you need someone else to lead it. An initiated witch."

  I hadn't even thought about that. With Cirrus, Cal had opened up the world of Wicca to me, permanently altering my world. His betrayal had left a deep black hole in my life, and my few new support systems were now being sucked away into it

  I didn't want to lose the coven. "I could ask Alyce or David if they'll take over."

  "Alyce and David are already part of Starlocket. I hear Alyce has been asked to lead it now that Selene is gone," Hunter said.

  I was silent, thinking, and then Hunter broke in.

  "I want to lead Cirrus," he said.

  Now I was seriously at sea. "Why?" I asked. "You don't know any of us. You don't even live here. Not permanently, anyway."

  "I'll probably be here for a while. I've asked the council to give me time to come up with new leads on Cal and Selene. I want to see if I can track them down."

  "But you don't know how long that will take," I argued. "Anyway, there are five other people in our coven. They might have something to say about who leads us."

  "I already discussed it with them," Hunter said. "I went to your school today. That's how I know you weren't there."

  So he hadn't gone there out of concern for me. To my surprise, I felt a stab of disappointment. Then my anger rose. How could he be so presumptuous? "So you talked to them and they said yes? You're it?"

  "We're going to see how it goes," he said cautiously. "There's a circle tomorrow night at my house at seven. I hope you'll be there. I think it would be good for. . everyone."

  "A circle on a Tuesday night?"

  "We can't wait until Saturday," Hunter said. "It's important that Cirrus re-form quickly. When a circle is broken in this way, it can be devastating to the members. Besides, we don't know what magick Cal might have used on the members. I've asked everyone to bring the stones Cal gave them so we can purify them. You should bring yours, too, along with anything else he gave you."

  "I already purified everything," I said, and felt a childish triumph when I saw the surprise in his eyes. Now maybe he'd stop being so superior, so remote, making me feel like he was ten years older than me rather than two.

  Even as the thoughts formed, I knew I wasn't being fair to him. He really was trying to help. But his very competence irked me, made me feel clumsy, naive.

  He must have sensed a change in my attitude and figured the circle issue was a done deal, because he moved on. "Now, the second thing," he said, "is you. You've come into quite a birthright—far more power than most blood witches ever experience, and Belwicket's tools besides. But you know only the most rudimentary things about how to focus and control your power. And you know even less about how to protect yourself."

  I took it as an accusation and felt anger flare again. "I've only known I was a blood witch for a month. I know I have a long way to go."

  Hunter sighed. "All I'm saying is that you've got a hell of a lot of catching up to do. Most blood witches are initiated at age fourteen, after studying for years. Witches need to know the history of Wicca and the Seven Great Clans; the rituals of the Goddess and the God and the eight great Sabbats; herbalism; the basics of numerology; the proper use of talismans and runes; the properties of minerals, metals, and stones and how they interact with the cycles of the celestial bodies. The full correspondences; reading auras; spells of protection, healing, binding, and banishment. And though it's more advanced, you really ought to learn about the Guardians of the Watchtowers—"

  A sudden burst of laughter came from the kitchen, where Aunt Eileen and Paula and my family were lingering over coffee. It sounded so safe and comforting in there, a world I was not fully part of anymore, a world I had taken for granted. An awful thought occurred to me. "Is my family in danger?" I blurted out.

  Hunter ran a hand through his pale blond hair. Tiny crystals of ice had beaded up in it, so now bits of it stuck up in spiky tufts, making him look about eight years old.

  "I don't think so," he said. "At least, not now. With Selene's plan exposed, I suspect she and her cronies will lie low for a while. You have a window of safety here, which is why it's vital that you don't waste it. You need to begin studying."

  I gnawed my thumbnail. He was right.

  "I have some books that I bought at Practical Magick," I told him. "I haven't read them cover to cover, but I've skimmed them." I told him the titles. "And of course I've read most of Maeve's Book of Shadows."

  He nodded approvingly. "Those are all good. Keep working with them and we'll talk in a few days. Write down any questions you have. I'll give you a reading list after I have a better sense of what you know."

  "Hey." Mary K. came out into the hall. "Hunter, right? How are you?"

  "Fine, thanks," he said, flashing her a surprisingly warm smile. "You?"

  "Good." Mary K. twisted a strand of auburn hair around her finger.

  Was she flirting with him? "Hunter's got to go now," I said.

  He looked at me, then nodded. "Good night," he called to my sister. To me he said, "You look tired. Get some sleep."

  "What a hottie," Mary K. said as the door clicked shut behind him.

  "Oh, please," I groaned, then went back to the kitchen to join the group

  5. Darkness

  With Athar's help, I broke the warding spells today. It took the two so us the better part of the day—Athar was annoyed because I made her take a day off from her job.

  But I found nothing useful inside. If Selene did leave anything, it's locked in that library of hers, and I can't get at it. The council is sending a fellow down from Boston next week to help my bind the house in spells. Perhaps he'll be able to help me get in. I will not ask Morgan for help. It's clear that she dislikes me enough already.

  I wish she didn't. There's something in her eyes, in the way she holds her head, that somehow draws me to her.

  — Giomanach

  Something was after me, I could feel it. Deep darkness was surrounding me, trying to find me, to envelop me. I tried to make the rune signs for protection, but I couldn't lift my hands: my fingers weren't working. I'd been bound, just as Cal had bound me to entrap me.

  Smoke and flames burned in the back of my throat, and I heard a voice screaming, "Not again!" Somehow I knew the voice belonged to my birth mother, Maeve.

  Then faces rose up out of the smothering darkness: Selene and Cal. I begged them to leave me alone. I pushed my lips together tightly, knowing, somehow, that they wanted me to breathe in the darkness, wanted it to become a part of me.

  Just as I felt myself about to suffocate, I saw a tiny sliv
er of light. The faces of Cal and Selene dissolved as the light approached. And then I began to see a new face in its midst.

  Hunter.

  I woke up sweaty and gasping for breath. My heart raced, pounding hard in my chest I pushed my hair away from my damp forehead and looked around the room. I was in my own bedroom. I was alone. Dagda was sleeping on a pillow that had fallen to the floor. It was still pitch dark outside my window.

  I shuddered. The dream had been so intense, it felt like it was still with me. I pulled at the sheets. They were completely wrapped around my body. I let out a shaky laugh. No wonder I'd thought I was being smothered. Those sheets were wound as tightly as a straitjacket. I struggled free, then reached over to my bedside table and flicked on the lamp. Not so good. The lamp cast spooky shadows all around my room. I got up and turned on my overhead light. Dagda stretched and blinked sleepily. I picked him up and brought him back into bed with me.

  "It was just a nightmare," I told my purring kitten. "It's just my brain trying to process all that I've been through."

  I pulled the comforter up around my shoulders. I'd gone from sweaty to freezing. Was my window open? I glanced over, but no, it was shut. I still felt anxious, unsettled. My heart started its syncopated beat again. Was it just the aftermath of the dream, or was I picking up something with my witch senses?

  Cradling Dagda close to my body, I got up and went to the window. I took in deep breaths, trying to calm my mind. Dagda squirmed, so I put him down. I didn't want to be distracted.

  Willing myself to breathe evenly, I opened myself to the night. I could feel the sting of frosty air on my face as my senses moved out of my cozy bedroom and into the backyard. The world was quiet under its blanket of snow, and the trees themselves seemed to be asleep. The houses were filled with sleeping bodies; a car drove slowly along the road. Beyond that, I didn't get much sensation, just vague cold.

  Then a wave of nausea hit me. My veins felt like they were filled with cold sludge. The only other time I'd felt anything like this horrible sensation was when Cal had used magick to bind me.