Book of Shadows Page 14
Faces were blurred. I felt out of control. I banish fear! The words of our chant slurred until it was a beautiful rhythm of pure sound, rising and falling and swirling around me. I was having trouble breathing, and my face was hot and damp with sweat. I wanted to throw off my jacket, throw off my shoes. I had to stop. I had to banish fear.
With one last burst of sound our circle stopped, and we threw our arms skyward. I felt a rush of energy whirling around me. My hand grasped the air, and I pushed my fist against my chest, seizing some energy for myself. I banish fear, I thought dreamily, and then the night exploded all around me.
I was dancing in the atmosphere, surrounded by stars, seeing motes of energy whizzing past me like microscopic comets. I could see the entire universe; all at once, every particle, every smile, every fly, every grain of sand was revealed to me and was infinitely beautiful. When I breathed in, I breathed in the very essence of life, and I breathed out white lightIt was beautiful, more than beautiful, but I didn't have the words to express it even to myself. I understood everything; I understood my place in the universe; I understood the path I had to follow. Then I smiled and blinked and breathed out again, and I was standing in a darkened graveyard with nine high school friends, and tears were running down my face. "Are you okay?" Robbie asked in concern, coming over to me. At first it seemed he was speaking gibberish, but then I understood what he had said, and I nodded.
"It was so beautiful," I said lamely, my voice breaking, i felt unbearably diminished after my vision. I reached my finger out to touch Robbie's cheek. My finger left a warm pink line where it touched, and Robbie rubbed his cheek, looking confused. Page 103
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The vases of flowers were on the altar, and I walked toward them, mesmerized by their beauty and also the overwhelming sadness of the flowers' deaths. I touched one bud, and it opened beneath my hand, blooming in death as it hadn't been allowed to in life. I heard Raven gasp and knew that Bree and Beth and Matt backed away from me then.
ThenCal was next to me. "Quit touching things," he said quietly, smiling. "Lie down and ground yourself."
He guided me to an open spot within our circle, and I lay down on my back, feeling the pulsing life of the earth centering me, easing the energy from me, making me feel more normal. My perceptions focused, and I saw the coven clearly, saw the candles, the stars, the fruit as themselves again and not as pulsing blobs of energy.
"What's happening to me?" I whispered. Cal sat down cross-legged behind me and lifted my head onto his lap, stroking my hair, which was strewn across his legs. Robbie knelt next to him. Ethan, Beth, and Sharon circled closer, peering over his shoulder at me as if I were a museum display. Jenna was holding Matt around his waist, as if she were afraid. Raven and Bree were the farthest back, and Bree lookedwide-eyed and solemn.
"You made magick ,"Cal said, gazing at me with those endless dark gold eyes. "You're a blood witch."
My eyes opened wider as his face slowly blotted out the moon above me. With his eyes looking deeply into mine, he touched my mouth with his, and with a sense of shock I realized he was kissing me. My arms felt heavy as I moved them up to encircle his neck, and then I was kissing him back, and we were joined, and the magick crackled all around us. In that moment of sheer happiness I didn't question what being a blood witch meant to me or my family or what Cal and I being together meant to Bree or Raven or anyone else. It would be my first lesson in magick , and it would be hard learned: seeing the big picture, not just a part of it. Page 104